He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Found your dick twin last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
