Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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