is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm bleeding and have questions
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