i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
