No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
