the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
