Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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