why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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