Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
