are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize