I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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