I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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