So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
