he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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