can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
