I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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