i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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