my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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