after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
