How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He kissed a someone with a penis
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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