you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
