i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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