I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
