You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my sisters under your porch take her home
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
