Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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