his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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