Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The best revenge is premature balding
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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