He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
