Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
where am i from again
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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