Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
