i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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