After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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