yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
