I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
