She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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