Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
