My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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