sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize