The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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