He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
