Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
