I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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