he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
