and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
