Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
