Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
