you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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