i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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