So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize