Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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