mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
