So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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