He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
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We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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