I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I believe in your delicious
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
