So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
