Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
