Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You took a bar mat shot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
