I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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